BLIND DATE

Sassy, sexy, and smart thirty-something roster in search of casual relationship with equally sizeable and mature team. Interests include drinking, heckling, disco, convertible-dancing, hokey-pokey, and hanky panky. Must like kids, dogs, lawn chairs, and rubber objects. Please send group photo or beer. Cheerers need not respond.

********************************************************

CRUNCH

"The core members of CRUNCH met in a Liverpool high school in the mid 1950's. Our original team name was "The Quarrymen." In August 1962, handler Pete Best was kicked out of the group, a highly controversial decision that is the cause of much speculation to this very day. Our appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show" in February of 1964 was key to catapulting us into the national spotlight.

Actually, none of this is true. (Well, except for our appearance on the Sullivan show.) We are really just a bunch of humble Atlanta players bonded together by the fact that we are all for various reasons unable to play Open or Womens ultimate. While some of us are too old and slow and busy with careers and babies, others are too young and inexperienced and busy with college courses and part-time jobs. And so to fill our large appetite for this great sport we eventually found our way to the Coed Division, which, like Baby Bear's porridge, we've found to be just right for us all.

But still we sometimes wonder whatever became of that Best guy... must be playing Masters..."

********************************************************

GO-GO’S

********************************************************

RALEIGH LLAMA

Formed when something brian dobyns said in jest was taken seriously by his dim-witted little brother, the raleigh llama has had more knee surgeries than practices, more hissy fits than tournaments, and scored more vicodin than goals. we hope to justify our # 9 seed. like the animal whose name we stole, we're not much to look at and we spit.

********************************************************

RYNO’S REVOLUTION

We are ryno revolution in honor of our friend, Ryan "Ryno" Hartnett, who was killed in an avalanche in the San Juan Mtns. this past April...a true gem of our ultimate community and his spirit lives in all of us! We are a Colorado co-ed all-star team from all over the state: Telluride, Ouray, Dolores, Durango, Crested Butte, Paonia, Boulder, Broomfield, and Denver...as well as Lake Tahoe, Cali and SLC! Without ever a practice (for obvious reasons), we showed up at regionals on fire and finished #1! We are psyched for nationals...the Californian coast...and to party down as the p-funk posse at the Halloween bash!

peace, love, and ryno ultimate!

********************************************************

SWEETWATER 420

Sweetwater 420...What's in a name? Barley, hops, yeast, and water - yes it is a sweet southern combination. Mixed together with a dozen or so of your best buds and you've got it all. A high flyin', disc huckin', D gettin', Ho divin', beer drinkin', fun lovin', disc grabin', spirit driven, travel fool coed Ultimate team.

Sweetwater 420 is a coed team from the four Southern states of Arkansas, Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee. We are sponsored by a brewery out of Atlanta, Georgia and have been playing together all year in eight different tourneys. San Diego is the 3rd corner of the United States that we've joined up to play this lung bustin', knee scraping, fun loving game together in 1999 (Seattle and Orlando were the other two!) and we are so excited to be here! The following played to the tune of Green Acres

"Sweetwater is the team to see. Southern Hospitality is how we greet. Disc flying out so far and wide. Sweetwater 420, let's show that Southern Pride.

San Diego is the place to be. Traveling far from Southern Cities. I just adore the Pacific view. Darling you're open, so I'm going to huck it to you.

dah dah da dat dah Seashores! dah dah da dat dah hotel floors! dah dah da dat dah Get air! dah dah da dat dah Oh, I swear!

Ultimate is the game. We're so glad we came. Nationals... Sweetwater is there!"

********************************************************

TRIGGER HIPPY

For years, the Big Sky section has existed apart from the rest of ultimate, like a drunk at a Mormon wedding. While the two coasts went corporate with dri-fit and designer drugs, the Big Sky was still playing coed and starting Sunday play at 2 in the afternoon. Like a dysfunctional family, we would drive 15 hours to battle each other fiercely on the field and party together off it.

Triggerhippy was created out of our desire to show the rest of the country what we could do when we sober up and join forces. We grabbed the best from every mountain town in the section, and with a rigorous cross-training program of skiing, elk hunting, and broomball, we've become the first Big Sky team ever to qualify for Nationals.

Triggerhippy: free love and furious war, battle-scarred veterans and fresh-faced punks, dry powder and foamy white water, bowhunting and incense, slow men and fast women. Love Love Love.

********************************************************

2^nd CITY

I listen to the wind

to the wind of my soul

Where I'll end up well I think,

only God really knows

I've sat upon the setting sun

But never, never never never

I never wanted water once

No, never, never, never

- Yusuf Islam/Cat Stevens

Second Wind

I come upon the sea

with a dream in my heart

I let my disc take me where

the earth comes apart

I've played across the nation's land

But never, never never never

I've never met a better man

No never, never, never

********************************************************

Anodyne Ultimate

Washington, DC

Anodyne leads the UPA in Anger. Anodyne substitutes a deep game with a

fantastic knowledge of the rules. Most teams are too tall to match up with us. The gangly, oafish opposition struggles to bend over to mark us. Our quick give and gos vex them. They hate bending their knees to intercept our hucks. Goliath be damned. Facing us is like a mescaline-induced circus of horror.

We are calculated and devastating like a running start flying kick to the skull. We are known for our high number of turnovers every year. Yes, you may think this means that we suck on offense. In reality it is just a way to get free beer. You see we are famous for making people give us the rookie case. The most recent victim of this was

Dave Babkow. We kept him around long enough for him to give us the rookie case and then dumped him like the whore he is.

Next, in the tradition of the US government's bureaucracy, Anodyne is known for using the maximum time allotted between points in order to discuss absolutely nothing. We never throw deep. You may think this is because we are short. Well, you are wrong; it is because we cannot see across the field under the haze of Curtiss' cigarette smoke. As I am sure you know, we have a complete wrestling ranking system that is ever-evolving. Currently we have two factions (very similar to the nwo and wwf): The Department of Housing Department and the Department of Retribution. Basically, the match is set.

If we have never played you, you will be schooled by the Department of

Housing Department. If we have played you and lost, look out for the

retribution. You better pray you do not meet the like of we.

It's ON! Defense like bees in your mouth. Bring it!

ANGRY LITTLE MEN

********************************************************

DoG

They've lost their Zest.

There's little Attitude.

Gone is their Spirit!

Who extinguished their Levity?

Why do they continue this Odyssey?

...now that their sanity has gone with the Wind.

********************************************************

FURIOUS GEORGE

The last couple of years have brought no shortage of highs and lows for

Vancouver's Furious George. The team was euphoric after winning the World Championships in Minnesota last year, only to be brought back to earth by a less than stellar performance at UPA Nationals. However, that was last year, and this year's version of the angry Monkey is more determined than ever to drink from the cup on the polo grounds of San Diego.

Furious George of 1999 carries basically the same personnel as the year before, but a year wiser in ultimate experience. Following a solid showing at Chicago Tune-up (apparently this is a curse), George went on to win the Northwest Region in an epic battle against Jam, resulting in a 21-20 decision. The only significant loss of the season for Furious to this point is a Sectionals final defeat at the hands of Blaze of Glory. That being said, the slate is wiped clean for all teams who qualify for the UPA showdown, and the Canadian contingent will be forced to prove that they can win the big games with all the glory on the line. We're looking forward to the challenge.

********************************************************

MIAMI

"Some have argued that Florida is proof of why cousins should not marry. Others have said that Florida is more dysfunctional than the Penn/Madonna family. Whatever the dynamics of this bizarre union, Florida has proven resilient by fighting its way out of the Southern Region.

Officially, the team was born this past spring when players from the Refugees (Miami) and Vicious Cycle (Gainesville) combined at Easterns. Unofficially, the team's origins are less clear, stretching back over the many years of intense intrastate rivalry. The combination brings together two styles of play whose flavors differ as widely as the barbecue sauce of the south and the salsa of the even further south. Will the result be an exciting blend of Florida spices or some freakish culinary experiment gone horribly wrong? Only time will tell . . . "

********************************************************

RED TIDE

Emerging from the Maine Woods for their second appearance at Nationals, an event that (fortunately) falls just before hibernation season, is Red Tide. Born in this northern New England burg in 1988, Red Tide has with each passing season improved its game as well as the state of ultimate in Maine. With traditional Yankee thrift, the team manages to get the most bang for its buck, squeezing the maximum harvest out of a modest metropolitan plot and a short growing season. Portland is an attractive ultimate retirement community, and generally manages to wrest a few extra years of production out of the seasoned talent that lands on its shores. These veterans are joined by a few tourists (prospective tenants of the old ultimate folks home), and some youthful charges who hold the team’s future. The present spread of Red Tide, though, continues to be driven by its respective heart and soul: Kevin Massey, who provides the spark on the field, and Alex Pozzy, who masterminds the entire operation (as well as a burgeoning summer league and the spectacular Clambake Tournament). Looking to cause some trouble are, as one Regionals opponent once put it, "A bunch of f****n hicks from Maine!"

********************************************************

RING OF FIRE

Every team in every sport deals with it. This year Ring of Fire has had to. Ring lost over 30 years of Nationals experience this past year, but we're back at the dance looking to exceed the success of the past few years.

There really is no way to replace what was lost. But living in an area in which Ultimate thrives (4 triangle teams at this years Nats.) makes it much easier to reload, thus keeping the Ring level to the standard for which it's known.

So why is it that when a team loses so much it then takes the Region by the most lopsided score of the decade?

Drive. Motivation. Determination. Character.

Ring of Fire Ring of Fire Burn Burn Burn.

********************************************************

SUBZERO

Now three years old, Sub Zero is still a young team with a healthy mix of Carleton grads and vets from other Nationals teams from years past. Several new vets should help settle Minnesota in the highly competitive field in '99.

The team has traveled to a few majors this year and has done well; semis at Tune Up and Boston, and winning finals at Chop Tank were highlights.

We're glad to be in San Diego, because as you read this it is likely snowing in Minnesota.

Keep in mind we just play ultimate to stay in shape for Broomball.

********************************************************

CIGAR

Cigar - We may not be the best, but we're up there

********************************************************

CRANKY

What the hell you lookin' at?!
North Carolina Ultimate -- 100 proof.
Crank it up!

********************************************************

THE GENTLEMEN OF BAD TASTE

The Gentlemen of Bad Taste, (formerly Trauser Schauser), are making their second straight trip to Nationals. Hailing mainly from Chicago, these decrepit old men at one time played with Windy City, Czech, Shazam as well as other club teams. This team is deep in skill and stamina, especially off the field. The Gents would like to take this opportunity to correct a common misconception and remind everyone that while the Millennium is not over until the end of next year, its ok to party as though it's ending now.

********************************************************

HERNIATED DISCS

Florida Masters (a.k.a. "Herniated Disks"): A group of cagey old veterans who gathered together this year to form a combo team from throughout the Southeast. We are comprised mainly of seasoned West Palm Beach and Miami area players that have been competing in the Florida/Southeast region for what seems like a millennium. Some of us even remember playing with Wham-os.

This year we have enlisted help from as far away as Savannah, Biloxi, Fairfax, Naples, and Sarasota. With the additional "hired guns", we managed to go undefeated on the way to becoming Southeast Regional Champs. For many of us, this will be the first time competing at Nationals and we are enjoying the prospect of going up against the country's best. We look forward to giving everyone a run for the money, especially at the parties. Womens teams beware, for our prowess at inseminating our women is running strong. Get ho......but use a condom.

********************************************************

KEGWORKERS

Keg Workers of America, Local 333

I'm a Keg Worker tried and true,

I drink from the keg 'till my face turns blue;

There's no place I'd rather be,

KWA Local 333!

I'm a Keg Worker, count on me,

I drink from the keg 'till quarter to three;

I take a break then 'cause I have to pee,

and it's back to the keg with me.

A Keg Worker's life is the one for me,

I'm so drunk I can barely see,

but my keg brothers always stand by me,

and hold the tap open so the keg flows free!

It's run and dive and huck all day,

then tap the keg and work the night away;

the Keg Workers always come to play,

"Just one harmless beer!" is what we always say.

When the whistle blows I punch the clock,

drink all night and get the diving block;

The Keg Workers come from a hardy stock,

if it's good keg beer I'd drink from a sock!

Gimme one keg beer, or maybe a few,

I'm always glad to pay my union dues;

I work the long hard day 'cause my collar is blue,

and suck on the tap 'till the keg is through.

I stand with my keg brothers arm in arm,

I'm falling down drunk but I'm safe from harm;

There's no need, no cause for alarm,

it's all part of the Keg Worker charm.

I'm a Keg Worker tried and true,

I drink from the keg 'till my face turns blue;

There's no place I'd rather be,

KWA Local 333!

********************************************************

OLD & IN THE WAY

Only a few of us remain from the first Old and in the Way team that got 2^nd in the B Division at a Boulder 4th of July Tournament in the late 1980's. We played regularly in those 4th of July Tournaments (before their demise last year), usually placing in the top 2 of the B Division. We had some great rivalries over the years: Telluride, Breckenridge, Fort Collins, Kansas City and Albuquerque, to name a few. We started playing masters in the fall series in the early 1990's. We've always had a lot of fun but usually got beaten by some powerhouse team from Southern California. We did manage to make Nationals in 1997, much to our surprise, and managed to scrape together 10 guys to go. We played well but tired out in those games to 17 and only won 1 game (though we only lost by 2 to the eventual winner from New York).

This year is different. A lot of guys in the Denver-Boulder area finally decided to make the switch to master's this year. Long time captains, Gary Foreman and John Hamm, decided to attract some fresh blood by making Bobby Pease a co-captain. We broke our long-standing rule of no practices and we have plenty of players with 21 on the roster. We still tell the traditional jokes and do our Old and in the Way slow sprint with 1 push-up (on the knees). But this year we think we have a good chance of playing more than one game on Saturday!

********************************************************

BACKHOE

BackHoe came to be in 1997 and this is our second trip to Nationals. Just happy to be there last year, ready to do some damage this year. What difference can a year make? 365 days? See for yourselves. You'll notice us, and it won't just be because of our striking chartreuse jerseys. Where there's smoke on the sidelines, there's fire. Check out all of the North Carolina action (open: Ring of Fire, women: BackHoe, masters: Cranky and Co-ed: Raleigh Llamas) at the 1999 Nationals.

********************************************************

CATCHIT!

Let us tell you 'bout a team who's got a new name

CatchIt! sounds familiar but it's not quite the same

Where's last year's theme of kitties and scat?

We ditched it from our shirts but not our cheers 'n 'at!

So we're not all that different, as some might have thunk,

Don't let us catch you off guard with our catlike spunk.

One more year of disc has helped with our game

Our kittens are growin' up and not quite as tame!

Each cat on the team adds a certain skill

But we all bring fun, and umm ... just a little swill!

Catch Debbie, Clau and Chriss as well as Danielle

They are playing hot D and marking like h... (real well).

Catch (if you can) Kristie, Hope, Jax and Jenn

With their blazing cuts, they'll be scoring often.

Then there's Karen and Suzanne, Linda and Kim

Mixin' it up, 'cause they're ready to win.

With Lori, Marie, Paula, Susie, Shari, Stace

Breaking their D's marks all over the place

There'll be Ashley, Theresa, Tina, and Tracy

Catching those throws, making other teams crazy!

This squad will be travellin' from Pittsburgh to play

On this second trip to Nationals we just have to say

We're glad to catch a spot to throw the disc in Cali,

To head West to catch some rays and ultimate rally.

But, if you think that our rhymes are less than catchy

Or if you catch our drift but think it's less than snappy,

Then you'll have to catch our team as we throw in the sun

And find that on CatchIt we're always having fun!

********************************************************

CLUTCH --

1) v. to snatch with a hand or claw... to seize (at); 2) n. power; control; 3) n. a women's small handbag with no handle or strap; 4) [Colloq.] an emergency; 5) A cluster of persons, animals, or things; adj 6): made or done in a crucial situation <a clutch play>.

Born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Clutch (5) brings the best of the Midwest to the sunny Southwest --- no, not late October snow, or good, "family values." One round of "I never..." with us will cure you of any notion of a 'Midwest' wholesomeness". We bring all of what we have (lots of Michigan with a smattering of Ohio and a smidgen of Indiana) (2) to the altar by the sea. We range from first-year rookies (damn them for getting to Nationals their first season!), to seasoned veterans ("I remember when the 'overhead' first became popular back in the days when I walked barefoot through the snow up a mountain for practice 7 days a week").

You'll know us by the green, paper megaphone one of our captains has recently resorted to employing (4). ("Back up the fucking stack! Why isn't anyone listening to me?! " We apologize, in advance.) You'll know us by the red clutch (3) from which all good things flow; by the mind-boggling assortment of Pringles and Gatorade and candy corn littering our sideline. And by our bodies, our ritualistically-pierced navels and shamelessly-adorned locks. You'll notice our errant, backward numbers and beaded necks. Look out for our hammer, er hammered. You'll recognize us by how we play D and O (1 and 6). You'll hear our rookies and see our heart.

Yet, more than these, you'll know Clutch by looking inside yourselves.

You'll know us. We'll be looking for you.

********************************************************

CONDORS

The Condor Haiku (a true haiku)

It's hair apparent

All long, short, red, brown or blonde

A pearboy disguised

********************************************************

DIVA

Diva of Gainesville Florida is making it's first and not last appearance at Nationals. Diva played its first Regionals as savage seven in 1994. Since then Diva has grown into a rainbow of talent consisting of players aged twenty on to top secret.. After five years of Royal effort, Savage determination, and Red Hot training, Diva is ready to take the Bridge to the real Diehl Natoinals. In 1999 Diva has proven to be an up and coming Junior team with a lot of scrappy Spice and good Sport-smanship to boot. Diva looks forward to showing their true colors at their introduction in the 1999 Nationals tournament.

********************************************************

E.H.?!

Did ya see the game eh ? Nice catch eh ? Way to go eh! White toque-eh? We are a womens ultimate team made up of players from Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa, Canada. Our team name is E.H?! Well, eh? may be strictly a Canadian expression and we're not sure how it came about. But it's said so often that it's oblivious to the average Canadian eh. It makes every statement into a rhetorical question, leaving us Canadians second-guessing each other and ourselves.... our country is good, eh? I'd like another piece of pie, eh?

An amalgamation of 4 Canadian teams, we had a tough time coming up with a name to represent our unity, and thought what better way to play in the United States than to poke fun of ourselves... eh? Each player has her own meaning for the initials E.H.?! Is it Eccentrically Horizontal... Or Elongated Hucks..... Check out our shirts in San Diego and discover the secret meaning written somewhere...... can you find all 15?

********************************************************

FURY

Location: SF Bay Area, Coach: Bob Pallares, Average age: 26, Average age (minus Glo): 25, Average height: 5'6", Average height (minus Kimber and Cathy): 5'7", Average bra size: 34 B, Average bra size (minus Dom): 34 A, Players with ACL or achilles reconstruction: 6, Percentage of team named Jane or Janet: 50% (the rest answer to Sam), Favorite Toy: Mighty MegaMouth, Team Motto: Bring It!!, Team Cheer: Hi! My name is Fury, I've got a flick and a dive and a long throw and I run down the field the other day someone came up to me and said "Hey Fury are you tired?" I said "No!" my name is Fury...

********************************************************

NEMESIS

The Central Region Has Gone to the Dogs

In the beginning, there was a group of alpha-types. Sometimes they played with one another, sometimes they played against one another. The Big Dog looked upon the chaos and said, "This is good, but it could be so much better." He tried giving good things unto the group, but still the group lacked a common focus. The Big Dog gave them challenges, someof which they rose to, some of which set them apart from each other. The Big Dog looked upon the group he was trying to bring together, and said, "I've had it." Smiting them with all his might, he cast the group into Hell where enemies assaulted our group from all sides. Every Alpha-type fought for herself, yet enemies still rose on all sides, herding the group into a fiery pit from which demons rose to taunt and assault our brave heroines. As each Alpha-type bravely fought, the Big Dog looked down upon them and saw that this group was still not getting the message.

He decided to be more blunt. The Big Dog's growling voice thundered from all around the abyss, "STOP!" As the demons and monsters froze in terror at the sound, our fearless heroines looked for the source of the voice. The Big Dog spelled it out. "I brought you together for a purpose, oh my Alphas. You are to go forth and dominate in my name. Combine your individual strengths, go forth and fight as a pack, for they who oppose one of my pack oppose all, and shall suffer the wrath of my pack. When you come together as a pack, my strength shall lend you the strength of thousands, and all shall tremble at your might. I shall send a wolf to lead you, and all shall be well." As the echoes of the mighty voice still sounded through the fiery chasm, a wolf appeared. The pack rallied 'round the wolf. He used the strength of all, the skills of all and he led them out of the pit and onto the Elyssian fields. There he taught them the way of the pack and the wisdom of the Big Dog, using the strengths of each to create a strong, dominant pack, which would do battle on the Ultimate fields in the name of the Big Dog. And the Big Dog looked down from the pound in the sky and saw it was good.

********************************************************

OZONE

Remember when you used to wish aloud for a place where you could rollerskate, and move exactly as you felt like on roller skates, without being labelled or gawked at? We stumbled on such a place this summer in the park, sleek women spinning, swerving, double axeling to R. Kelly's "I believe I can Fly."

We did not weed our garden on the Fourth, nor did we move into a Barrio in the East Village. We synthesized our jungle beats, we told our dogs to stay off the field, we wrote books for teachers about artists.

Recently we reevaluated our mission statement. We like to play in whatever game we can get in. We like to pay via the barter system. We like to make up our own analogies. We build fires, pump gas, peel vegetables and consider The Road an extension of The Mind.

We never get stuck in conversations we can't get out of. We know where the band Boston comes from. We love Benjamin Moore paints and won't use another brand. Our stocks are in the growth sector. We survive by articulating ourselves. We believe Doogie Howser is smart. We like to learn more about you. We like Sweetwater IPA, modern architectural experiments, San Diego and freshly cut grass. We are a URL that is going to do for the Atlanta underground internet tarpon ultimate scene what Blair Witch is doing to cinema. We are hot. We are sizzling. We are Will Smith and Buffy The Vampire Slayer sipping frappucinos on Austin Powers shaggyyacht tethered to that dock on Dawson's creek. We are multicultural. We're thriving and running for the NY state senator slot. We want a fucking piece of the action before, not after, it blows up. Expect $39 worth of salvation army handbags next nationals.

********************************************************

Philly Peppers

The Philly Peppers are from a small town in Pennsylvania. We are named after our favorite band: Abba. We have foregone practicing ultimate this season in exchange for rigorous workouts with professional dance instructors. We can't wait to play in San Diego and show you our new moves. You say Potato...

********************************************************

Safari

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, Safari sleeps tonight.

Anticipating, participating in the big fight.

With Wendell hucking and Dudely skying,

it's really quite a sight.

In the jungle, the Del Mar jungle, we're ready for some more.

The Legend's in, the bomb goes up, Shack snags another score.

With sunny skies, and lots to do,

to San Diego, Safari welcomes you.

(oh, they had a little party at the coaster,

there was Rachel, there was Jamie, there was Shar.

oh they had a little party at the coaster,

and they had to carry Jamie from the bar......)

********************************************************

SCHWA

This year's team is comprised of new faces, the same phonetic flair and an underlying theme---PRIDE THRU PERFORMANCE.

Props to ADIDAS for the "dope" gear. Representing Portland, Oregon

********************************************************

WOTV

Twas WOTV, from Washington, who caught the frisbee craze;

They turned away the good old sports that served them many days;

They dressed themselves in KAVU clothes, resplendent to be seen;

They practiced in the rain to build a well-drilled disc machine;

And as they ran out on the field, one Californian day,

A grinning sideline heckler said, "Excuse me, can you play?"

"See here, young man," said someone else, "from Rainer to the seas,

From Scotland to the USA, there's none can play like these.

They're good all round at everything as everybody knows,

Although they're not the ones to talk -- they hate a team that crows.

But frisbee is their special gift, their chiefest, sole delight;

Just ask a wild duck can it swim, a wildcat can it fight.

There's nothing clothed in hair or hide, or built of flesh or steel,

There's nothing walks or jumps, or runs, on axle, hoof, or wheel,

That they won't beat, their minds are strong, they play without respite:

They're here to take this Championship with spirit, will and might.